30 Years From Now

 30 years from now, when I am 50, I want to see that my life was full of joy, love, laughter, travel, great friends, and good food. While this isn't exactly a bucket list for the next 30 years of my life, it's a rough look at what I want my life to include in the future.

-Sunsets. Lots and LOTS of sunsets. From a balcony, a sandy beach, a warm spot, a cold spot, and with the people I love.

-Exercise. I will never - and I mean NEVER - get used to running, but I'd sure as hell like to try to...hopefully...one day...start to enjoy it. I love how empowered I feel after a good workout, and I never want to be without that high.

-Friends. We all have 'em and we all need 'em. Not only do my friends bring all the joy in the world to me, but they do it with such flare that every day becomes a joyful mystery in the grand scheme of life.

-Hugs. I crave hugs on a daily basis and I am positive that this will never change. Good thing my roommates enjoy hugs as much as I do :)

-Family. Coming from a big family is one of my life's greatest aspects. There is never a dull moment and while some people may not like that, I tend to gravitate towards some chaotic energy. 

An Ode to the Old Lilly

Ladies and gentleman, 

We are gathered here today with heavy hearts as we lay the old Lilly to rest. Although we are sad to see her overly positive spirit go, the new Lilly reminds us that a positive spirit truly never dies and by that thought, we are uplifted! 

The old Lilly was kind, but subservient; outgoing, but much too timid when it came to her needs; and calm, but only as a facade to hide her anxieties. She was a lot of good things, but had negative aspects to match. While nothing looked quite wrong with Lilly on the outside, there were constantly storms brewing when she shied away from the things that scared her, or when friends let her down, or when she couldn't find balance in her life. 

The old Lilly wanted everyone to like her and constantly needed approval from her peers. The new Lilly reminds us that not only is this an unattainable goal, but that the only person who should truly like you is YOU! "Be confident in yourself and your abilities; ask for help when you need it; and, remember that you are only human," says the new Lilly. 

The old Lilly had anxiety that was rooted deeply in her desire to be in control. The new Lilly wakes up every day feeling grateful to see another sunshine and laughter-filled day. "Everything happens for a reason. Not everything is in your hands at all times," says the new Lilly to herself when life presents obstacles.

The old Lilly could not seem to find balance; work and play did not exist in her life at the same time and she felt like she could only have one or the other. For the new Lilly, finding the balance between work and play is a constant struggle, but she has found more balance in her life than the old Lilly could dream of. "At the end of the day, every task will get done, but you will not feel fulfilled if you do not take time for yourself every day. Even if they are small acts of self-care, take time out of your busy day to remind yourself that you deserve the best that life has to offer," the new Lilly muses.

While we wearily lay the old Lilly down, the new Lilly resembles the old in many ways. The new Lilly bears all the positive qualities of the old Lilly, and while there are still flaws - everyone has them - the best of Lilly is here and is yet to come!

More Than an Object

  September 20, 2020  

    When tasked with the responsibility of naming an object from my life that played an important role in shaping me and says something about my culture, my mind immediately pictured my favorite childhood toy. The blonde-haired, blue-eyed Barbie doll that I received when I was about 7 years old was one of those toys that young girls’ dreams are made of. Even now at the age of 20, I remember the doll fondly and can picture it sitting in my childhood bedroom, in my mom’s old car, in my carry-on bag, and just about everywhere in between.

    Barbie dolls were, and still are, a hot commodity. Right now, a Barbie doll without any other accessories sells for about $10. With other toy accessories, such as Barbie’s professional tools (maybe she’s a doctor or a chef!), the doll is sold for anywhere from $20 to $50 dollars. To fully explore how Barbie describes my childhood and, more importantly, my culture, I need to be honest about the fact that I owned more than just one Barbie doll. During my childhood, I had about 15 different Barbies. 

    Rather than let you make assumptions about how I grew up based on the amount of dolls I owned, I think it is easier to say, plainly, that I was raised comfortably. My affluent hometown of Northbrook, Illinois is where I learned that I was more fortunate than most, including some of the families in Northbrook. This is not to say that my family is extremely wealthy, but that Barbie had a “girl gang” that I was able to play with. 

    My Barbie dolls were more than just dolls to me. Barbie, or Francesca every time I played with her, was everything I wanted to be. Not only did Francesca get to be fearless and confident, but she was thin and long-legged with silky hair and boobs! As a young girl, my Barbie was the picture of beauty and happiness. On top of this, Barbie always had the perfect man by her side - Ken - and many great careers to choose from. Boy, did Barbie set unrealistic expectations! While she was my favorite doll, Barbie’s looks, relationship status, and lifestyle painted an image in my head of what my life should look like throughout my teen years and beyond. Looking back, some aspects of reality paled in comparison to Barbie’s life and the image that I had as a child. 

    While these thoughts may seem like negatives in my life, I have come to the conclusion that Barbie helped me more than hurt me. When I think about my Barbie dolls, I remember the play-dates with my friends and the good times that Barbie represents. More importantly, remembering how Barbie’s image made me hopeful for the future actually taught me a very valuable lesson: there is no singular way to be a successful woman. A strong, independent, and confident woman can be any color or size, can be with or without a partner, and can wear many different hats. Today, Barbie dolls are made in varying skin types and sizes, with different professions and lifestyles. I am thankful for Barbie dolls in my childhood, and even more thankful that today’s youth gets to experience a more diverse range of Barbies.